One of my favorite things to do when I’m driving, besides texting (just kidding), is to listen to sermons. I have a few people that I listen to on a regular basis that I enjoy, and usually, I end up learning something. The other day I was listening to Tullian Tchividjian. Tullian is an author of a few books that I would recommend, and I had a chance to hear him speak at the Mockingbird conference in New York City last year. In this particular talk, something he said stood out to me. He was teaching on Romans and what that would look like today. The thing he said that stood out to me was, “It’s amazing how much more you enjoy people when you stop trying to fix them.” I had to take a moment to let that sink in. I am a Fixer. I feel like, if I see a problem, I have to fix it, no matter what. If you don’t believe me you can ask my wife. Most of the time when I am trying to fix her problems, she yells at me that she didn’t need me to fix it, she just wanted me to listen!
I have wrestled for the past few weeks with what Tullian said, and I took some time to really think about it, and put myself in the shoes of the person being fixed. When someone takes the time to try and fix me, I tend to always pull away from that person. I don’t want to spend time with someone who is trying to fix me. The biggest problem with my being a Hixer is that it is so easy for me to see what others are doing wrong rather than for me to look at myself and see what I need to change. Jesus even said something about this in Matthew 7: 1-5; 1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” Jesus even wants us not to focus on what others are doing. He wants us to look at ourselves, before we take the time to “Hix” others. We have to leave the Hixing to Him.
As Youth Director, my role as a mentor is to help guide these young people, and help them identify the things inside of them that they want to change. So often adults approach young people thinking that as the youth are growing, they have problems that they need us to fix. Mentoring is not “fixing” but giving them the tools to learn how to change themselves, so that they can be all that God intends for them to be.
It’s amazing what God can do when you stop trying to fix others. I am looking forward to the new semester with our students because of this. I plan on mentoring them rather than fixing them; and having discussions in groups, rather than simply laying out a plan for them to follow, in order for them to be fixed; and to keep having a great time with our students.